the mental illness
yelling into the void
it is so fucking hot here 23/05/24
song of the day:
a complete and utter destruction of the senses (heaven pierce her)
changed up the layout (not really, just moved all the text below the hr because it's slightly clearer for me.
i think the reason i haven't achieved anything today is because i've been in waiting mode for most of the day - been waiting for my books to be shipped and trying to decide whether or not i should order something from the internet. ended up ordering it, let's have a round of applause for raze.
i started watching lost because i want to watch a youtube video but i don't want to be spoiled. clearly the best decision was to start the first season, seeing as i have not watched it once. never even aknowledged the existence of the show (uncultured?)
kind of forgot about supernatural because of lost - as much as i like dean, i have to watch this series now or i will not rest peacefully. i'm also stealing outfits from the show for my apocalypse ocs (i tried watching fallout for the same reason but nothing really worked for the setting)
i say 'tried to watch fallout' when i mean that i finished watching it. was good and made me go 'oh shit this is like in the game' several times (has only played fallout four)
i have this strange pain behind my ear sometimes and i'm not sure what's causing it. i'm linking it to the headaches i've been getting and hoping that i don't have some incurable disease that will kill me in the next two months (i would like to see the next spiderverse movie once it comes out in a hundred years and also play the next game larian studios decides to put out)
my apartment gets extremely hot after like 2 pm and it's becoming a problem. i kind of just lay there trying to not turn into a very deflated, cooked version of myself. can't wait for summer.
i should probably get a fan but i am lazy once again
stats of the day are that i did absolutely nothing.
at the time of writing this (9:45 pm) i've finished no drawings!
rating of the day: my room is boiling out of ten
random image of the day:
becuse i saw flowers and i thought it was neat how they were growing from under the asphalt.
today 20/05/24
song of the day: sarah, tyler the creator
i've been trying to get this website thing to work. it's scary posting somewhere people can see my stuff - i usually try my best to not gather a following and i've been succesful in that! a win for me.
i say 'usually try my best' but a year or so back i was desperate to be known. this is all jsut empty words and shit tryna fill this page :] i really just want to make this not a barren wasteland and clearly rambling is good.
did i forget something today? yes, because of course i would forget something important. forgot to take my meds. no wonder been feeling like crap.
yes, about that thing.. other people seeing stuff. it's kinda scary. im not the coolest of dudes and i dont know how to make great text. or not scary. there's no good word for it ??? i dont think
the last time i spoke about what ive done during the day was in therapy and before that in those communities on instagram back in like 2016-2017 when people used to compete about who had the worst mental illness. i think just rambling to no one would be good - no competition and no need to be super philosophical (ily previous therapist but it was draining)
stats of the day.. i've gone outside, i've eaten three (if you count the last thing i'll eat in about 10 minutes) times. been listening to tyler the creator, femtanyl and childish gambino. didn't watch any of the stuff i wanted to (supernatural not today). two phone calls. spoke to people in real life. took a shower. made real food (i think the meat was expired by one day but im not dead yet) and drank water.
at the time of writing this (9 pm) i've finished two drawings
rating of the day: existing out of ten
random image of the day:
